no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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