South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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