I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
