it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I need moral support for this bender
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
