Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
