Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
