Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
