Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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