She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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