How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
