i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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