Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
