just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize