Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Come see our sink grown plant.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize