hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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