please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
honey bunches of taint.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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