i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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