i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we're making bets on your personal life
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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