Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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