the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
