Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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