can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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