Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
