so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
