hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I will be naked everywhere
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
