ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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