Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
