The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
