I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
