I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
