whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
