Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize