Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
