I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
