It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
