She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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