I need help removing her.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
