I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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