I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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