Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
