just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize