Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
