She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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