I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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