I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I have post one night stand depression
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