I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
