Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
