Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We need to rekindle our bromance
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
