she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
vagina is talking i cant
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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