At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
