Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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