I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
