I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
