i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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