it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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