Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
time to smoke my breakfast
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
