So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
