Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
