You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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