Dual....:-)
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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