Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her