I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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