Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
