You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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