so let's talk penis.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
